Why did the computer break up with the internet? It couldn't handle the connection.

I used to play piano by ear, but now I play it by my girlfriend's request.

Why did the man get hit by a bike every time he went on a date? He had a crush on the cyclist.

My girlfriend said she wanted to try role-playing. So I got us matching capes and masks. Turns out, she meant something else.

Why did the man bring a car door to the desert? So he could roll down the window when it got too hot.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

My girlfriend accused me of being a liar. I looked at her calmly and said, 'To be honest, that hurt.'

I used to be in a band called 'Missing Cat'. You've probably seen our posters all over town.

Why did the man break up with his calendar? Because he couldn't find a date.

What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

What did the calculator say to the student? You can count on me.

Why do we never tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

Why did the couple decide to get married at the courtroom? Because they wanted a brief wedding.

What do you call two spiders who just got married? Newlywebbed.

Why did the strawberry file for a divorce? Because it was in a jam.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

Why did the pillow break up with the blanket? It couldn't handle the drama.

Why did the man break up with the calendar? He felt like his days were numbered.

I asked my boyfriend to clean the vacuum. He just stood there, sucking.

Why did the man start dating the calendar? He heard it was a date every night.

Why did the man break up with his calculator? They just couldn't count on each other anymore.