Why did the scissors break up with the tape? It felt like things were getting too sticky!

Why did the car break up with the gas pump? It was tired of being fueled!

Why did the watch break up with the bracelet? It felt like time was moving too fast!

Why did the plant break up with the watering can? It was drowning in the relationship!

Why did the bike break up with the helmet? It felt like it was being smothered in safety!

Why did the airplane break up with the runway? It needed to take off from the relationship!

Why did the pen break up with the paper? It felt like it was always being written off!

I tried to write a romantic letter to my wife, but I accidentally wrote 'I love ewe' instead of 'you'. Now she thinks I'm in love with sheep.

I told my wife she should make her own decisions. She asked me where I wanted to go for dinner.

Why did the man break up with his internet dating site? It wasn't his type.

My husband keeps telling me I'm a terrible cook, but all my friends love my cooking. I guess you could say he's just a little salty.

Why did the math book date the history book? Because they had great chemistry.

My husband and I decided we don't want any children. We're going to tell them tonight.

Why did the broom break up with the dustpan? It couldn't sweep her off her feet!

Why did the balloon break up with the pin? It was too popping!

Why did the mirror break up with itself? It couldn't reflect on the relationship!

Why did the mountain break up with the valley? It couldn't bridge the gap!

Why did the smartphone break up with the charger? It was always too clingy!

Why did the scarecrow break up with the farmer? Because he was outstanding in his field!

Why did the librarian break up with the book? It had too many chapters!

Why did the bicycle break up with the motorcycle? It was two tired!