Why did the tofu refuse to attend church? It didn't want to be a 'soyful' Christian.

Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants that stole.

Why did the preacher go to the gym? To work on his sermon.

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a priest? A bat-tist.

Why do we never tell secrets in a corn field? Too many ears.

How did the pastor become a carpenter? He had a knack for building 'holy' homes!

Why did the nun start a baking business? She wanted to bake her 'holy' cookies!

What did the Zen master say to the hotdog vendor with no mustard? 'You must-tard up your service!'

Why don't monks play basketball? They're more into Hoop-ness!

What did St. Peter say when he lost his keys? 'I hope I heaven't lost them for good!'

Why did the pastor go on a diet? He wanted to be 'saved' by his health choices!

What do you call a priest who performs magic tricks? Father Abracadabra!

Why don't angels have hair? They're always 'heavenly' trimmed!

What did the rabbi say after finishing a bike race? 'I rode on the path of righteousness!'

How did the nun win the baking competition? Her cakes were truly 'angelic'!

Why don't demons listen to music? They're always dancing to their own 'hellish' tune!

What did the rabbi say after he won the poker game? 'Full house of faith!'

How do you know if your pet iguana is religious? It's always quoting scriptures from the Gecko-nomy!

Why did the nun bring a ladder to the library? She heard they had high shelves of faith!

What did the Zen master say to the cat? 'Meow-zing!'

Why did the pastor start a farm? He wanted to raise 'holy' cows!