Why did the tree go to church? It wanted to branch out its spiritual growth.

What's a vampire's favorite religion? Cross-ianity.

Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants in the face of temptation.

Why did the candle flame go to church? To light the way for others.

How do you get a squirrel to pray? Offer some nuts and bolts.

Why did the baker go to church? To rise in the spirit.

What do you call a priest who specializes in gardening? A strawberries and cream clergyman.

Why did the astronaut go to church? He wanted to be space-fully blessed.

How does the Pope send messages? By first praying, then tweeting!

What do you call a dog with four legs and a Bible? A good boy!

Why did the scarecrow win an award? It was excellent at spiritual harvesting.

How do you get a nun's attention? Dress as a priest.

Why did the computer go to church? To seek divine downloads.

What do you call an astronaut that goes to church during a space mission? Pious!

Why did the baker go to church? He needed some dough for spiritual bread.

How does a computer programmer pray? In binary.

Why did the zen master refuse tea? He wanted to meditate on the water.

What do you call a nun with a sense of humor? Catholic chuckle.

Why do chickens make great pastors? They always give good pullet-ins.

How does the Pope communicate with angels? On a higher calling.

Why did the chef go to church? To confess his saucy sins.