Why did the burglar break into the church? He heard they had the most valuable pews.

Why did the atheist go to church? He wanted to sleep in on Sunday.

Why did the skeleton go to the church? He heard they had a bone-yard.

Why did the choir director go to jail? He got caught for trafficking in white powder… Pews.

Why do vampires love churchyards? They always feel at home in a crypt.

What did Adam say to Eve on the night before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!

Why did the preacher go to the beach? To catch some rays and sermonize the waves.

Why did the pastor visit the bakery? To get some fresh bread for his congregation.

Why didn't Noah go fishing with his sons? He only had two worms!

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the church? They woke up.

Why did the vampire become a priest? He heard it was a real Sanguine profession.

What do you call a computer that sings hymns? A dell choir.

Why was the robot considered holy? It had circuit-ied hard for its salvation.

How does a tree pray? With its branches lifted up high.

What do you call a group of vegetarians singing religious songs? A plant-iff choir.

Why did the atheist go to church? To find out what all the faith was about.

What did the grape say when it was stepped on? Oh, the wine humanity!

How do you make church music more exciting? Add a little bit of organ-ic beats.

What do you call a nun who is also an artist? A paintiff.

Why did the pastor carry a ladder? To elevate his sermons to a new level.

Why was the math book scared in church? It saw too many sin-cos-tan-gents.