Why was the math book feeling anxious? It had too many problems!

What has a face and hands but no body? A clock!

What has a neck but no head? A shirt!

Why did the tomato turn to the dark side? Because it saw the salad dressing!

Why did the belt get a promotion? It was holding up pants!

Why did the clock go to the principal's office? It was always ticking.

Why did the light bulb break up with the lamp? It was too shady.

Why did the math teacher break up with the calendar? She was always single-minded.

I have keys, but I can't open any doors. What am I? A piano.

What has 88 keys but can't open a single lock? A piano.

If you drop me, I'll crack, but if you smile, I'll smile back. What am I? A mirror.

What invention lets you look through walls? A window.

What has one hundred eyes but can't see? A potato.

What has a horn but doesn't honk? Rhino.

What becomes wetter as it dries? A towel.

What has towns but no houses, forests but no trees, and rivers but no water? A map.

What can you always catch but never throw? A cold.

Why did the math book break up with the history book? They just didn't add up.

What nails do carpenters hate to hit? Fingernails.

Why did the vegetable go to the casino? To turnip the beet.

Why did the vegetable chef go to jail? He was caught beet-ing an egg.