I get wetter the more I dry. What am I? A towel.

Why did the calendar cross the road? To go back to yesterday.

Why did the frog go to the hospital? It needed a hopperation.

Why did the math dictionary look so frustrated? It was ready to solve problems.

Why did the calendar look so depressed? It was full of dates.

Why was the math dictionary sad? It always had problems to solve.

Why was the math book depressed about hurricanes? It was full of problems.

What did the math book enjoy after solving a problem? A good fraction of pizza.

Why did the belt go to prison? Because it held up a pair of pants!

Why couldn't the calendar go to the party? Because it was always booked.

Why does the scarecrow always win awards? Because it's outstanding in its field!

Why did the bicycle keep falling over? It couldn't find its balance.

What has a map but never moves? A globe.

Why was the belt a good detective? It always held up its pants.

What has a heart that doesn't beat? A strawberry.

What has hands but cannot hold anything? A clock.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful detective? It was outstanding at gathering clues.

Why did the scarecrow refuse to make friends? It was outstanding in its field.

Why couldn't the bicycle race anymore? It lost its pedals.

Why did the computer catch a virus? It wasn't wearing an antivirus program.

What has a head, a tail, is brown, and has no feet? A penny.