I bought a selfie stick so I could take pictures with my imaginary friends.

I have a great memory, it's just short term.

I'm so bad at dating, my last relationship ended before it even started.

I'm so bad at golf, I once hit a hole-in-one on the wrong course.

I'm so bad at budgeting, I consider overdraft fees a form of entertainment.

I'm so bad at fashion, my wardrobe is a mix of hand-me-downs and items from the clearance rack.

I'm so uncoordinated, I once managed to trip while standing still.

I'm so bad at singing, my showerhead just started leaking instead of letting me sing.

I'm so bad at dating, my love life is basically sponsored by Netflix.

I'm so bad at sports, my Fitbit goes into hibernation.

I was so excited to try yoga until the instructor asked if I needed a crane to get into the downward dog position.

I thought I was being smart by setting my password as 'incorrect'. Now every time I forget it, the computer reminds me that it's incorrect.

I tried to do a cartwheel at the gym and knocked over three people in the process. They're still looking for their missing water bottles.

I was so excited for my friend's wedding that I showed up a week early. They asked if I could cater.

I have so many double chins I have to make an appointment to shave.

I decided to take a selfie and my phone threatened to shut down due to lack of storage space.

I asked my mom for fashion advice and she said 'Just don't wear that'. I wasn't wearing anything at the time.

I tried to impress my crush with my cooking skills. I ended up setting off the fire alarm with a bowl of cereal.

I once tried to do a cartwheel and got stuck halfway. My doctor now calls it 'The Incident'.

I signed up for a modeling agency and they asked me to submit photos of my pets instead.

I told my friends I was going to start a band and they all begged me not to sing.