I'm like a plant - put me in sunlight and watch me wither away.

I once tried to juggle knives. Let's just say it didn't end well...for my ceiling.

I'm such a klutz, I accidentally stepped on my own toes.

I have a love-hate relationship with the gym. I love to hate it.

I'm not saying I'm a quitter, but I once gave up on a jigsaw puzzle with 3 pieces left.

I'm the kind of person who checks the fridge multiple times even though I know there's nothing in there.

I tried to be a stand-up comedian, but I always end up sitting down.

I'm pretty sure my plants are fake, I've managed to kill a cactus.

I'm so bad at parking, even my shadow leaves me.

I'm not saying I'm uncoordinated, but I once tripped over a wireless router.

I'm not clumsy, I'm just creatively finding ways to injure myself.

I'm not saying I have a sweet tooth, but I consider chocolate a vegetable.

I'm not saying I'm a hypochondriac, but I have a fear of fearing things.

I'm not saying I'm bad with directions, but I couldn't find my way out of a paper bag.

I have a lot of self-confidence issues, but I'm pretty sure I'm right about that.

I'm so awkward, I once apologized to a door after bumping into it.

I'm so bad at dancing, I once threw out my back attempting the 'electric slide'.

I'm so bad at small talk, I accidentally brought up my own embarrassing moment in a conversation.

I'm so indecisive, I can't even commit to picking a favorite color.

I'm so bad at telling jokes, even my own shadow groans when I try to make it laugh.

I'm so disorganized, I have a filing system that consists of stacking papers until they fall over.