I'm so bad at texting, I once sent a selfie to my boss instead of my friend.

I'm so bad at technology, I accidentally called my ex when I was trying to delete them from my contacts.

I'm so bad at planning, my to-do list has a to-do list.

I'm so bad at exercising, my Fitbit sends me messages of condolence.

I'm so bad at crafting, my DIY projects are regularly mistaken for abstract art.

I'm so bad at relationships, my therapist asks me for advice.

I'm so bad at singing, my shower goes into lockdown when I pick up the soap.

I'm so bad at dancing, my moves are classified as a public hazard.

I'm so bad at parking, my car apologizes to the other cars in the lot.

I'm so bad at fashion, even my cat gives me side-eye when I get dressed.

I'm so bad at socializing, my shadow avoids me in public.

I'm so bad at singing, my karaoke machine has a mute button for me.

I'm so bad at dancing, I once got asked if I was doing the robot... when I wasn't.

I'm the type of person who apologizes to inanimate objects when I bump into them. Sorry, table.

I'm the person who walks into a room and forgets why I'm there. Maybe just to provide comic relief.

My cooking is so bad, my smoke alarm goes off when I boil water.

I tried to do a cartwheel last week and ended up in the hospital. I wasn't even drunk.

My dance moves are so awkward, they actually violate several laws of physics.

I'm the person who accidentally likes their own post while stalking their own profile.

I once got rejected by a vending machine, so I guess I'm not everyone's type.

I'm so bad at math, even Siri doesn't want to help me anymore.