I'm so forgetful, I once wore slippers to work thinking they were shoes.

I'm so bad at remembering appointments, I once showed up a week early for a dentist appointment.

I'm so bad at art, I once tried to paint a sunset and ended up with a green sky.

I'm so bad at budgeting, I once bought a whole cake just because it was on sale.

I'm so bad at technology, I once tried to 'like' a picture in a magazine.

I'm so bad at math, I once thought 'x' in algebra was the name of a variable.

I'm so bad at fashion, I once wore slippers to a fancy dinner party.

I'm so bad at chess, I once got checkmated in three moves.

I'm so bad at technology, I once accidentally 'liked' a post from 5 years ago on someone's social media.

I'm so bad at karaoke, I once shattered a wine glass with my voice.

I'm so bad at storytelling, people confuse my life with a soap opera.

I'm so forgetful, I once put my phone in the freezer.

I'm so uncoordinated, I once knocked over an entire display of glassware in a store.

I'm so bad at dancing, my moves are classified as hazardous to others.

I'm so bad at budgeting, I once bought a single grape at the grocery store.

I'm so bad at technology, I accidentally called 911 while trying to take a selfie.

I'm so bad at taking selfies, my phone has a built-in cringe filter.

I'm so forgetful, I once lost my glasses while wearing them.

I'm so bad at cooking, I once burned pasta.

I'm so unathletic, I once got stuck in a hula hoop.

I'm so bad at socializing, I once brought up a sensitive topic on a first date.