I'm so bad at puzzles, I once spent hours trying to fit a square block into a round hole.

I'm so bad at naming things, my pet fish's name changed every week.

I'm so bad at sleeping, I once dreamt I was awake and woke up tired.

I'm so bad at ice skating, I can't even stand up on rollerblades.

I'm so bad at meditation, I get anxious trying to relax.

I'm so bad at swimming, I once mistook a kiddie pool for an Olympic-sized one.

I'm so bad at photography, I once snapped a picture with the lens cap still on.

I'm so bad at public speaking, I once broke out in hives during a presentation.

I'm so bad at telling time, I once thought 9 PM was morning.

I'm so bad at technology, I once deleted all my contacts trying to send a text.

I'm so bad at parking, even my car gives me a ticket.

I'm so bad at dancing, my dog hides when I start moving.

I'm so bad at painting, my art teacher suggested I stick to coloring books.

I'm so bad at making friends, I once high-fived someone who was waving to someone behind me.

I'm so bad at singing, my shower actually turns itself off when I start belting out a tune.

I'm so bad at fashion, I once tried to follow a trend and ended up looking like a walking fashion disaster.

I'm so bad at keeping plants alive, I once bought a fern and it turned into a brown stick within a week.

I'm so bad at watching scary movies, I once screamed so loud that I woke up my neighbors during a not-so-scary scene.

I'm so terrible at singing, my karaoke machine skipped to the next song.

I'm not very good at karaoke. I once got booed off stage for my rendition of 'Happy Birthday'.

I'm not saying I'm out of shape, but sometimes I get winded opening a jar of pickles.