I'm like a bull in a china shop, but with delicate social situations.

I'm so bad at saving money, I make impulse buyers look like financial planners.

I'm so unathletic, even my Fitbit judges me for my lack of steps.

I'm such a bad storyteller, I can make a bedtime tale sound like a horror story.

I'm such a bad driver, even my car honks at me.

I'm like a magnet for awkward situations, they just find me.

I'm such a procrastinator, I make last-minute decisions at the last second.

I'm like a human version of a clown car, you never know what's going to come out next.

I'm like a plant that can't even survive on artificial light.

I'm so forgetful, I could probably lose a game of hide and seek by myself.

I'm so bad at technology, even my grandmother is more tech-savvy than me.

My wardrobe consists of mainly 'laundry day' outfits.

I'm the reason why the 'easy open' packages were invented.

I have a black belt in online shopping and a white belt in real-life skills.

I'm so clumsy that even my shadow trips over me.

I'm the type of person who tries to put the cap back on a pen that doesn't even have one.

I'm so bad at selfies that my camera rolls its eyes at me.

I have more 'before' pictures than 'after' pictures in my weight loss journey.

I'm the reason why 'user error' is a common tech support response.

I'm so indecisive that I can't even decide on a good self-deprecating joke.

I'm constantly amazed by how many new ways I find to embarrass myself.