I'll never be as photogenic as a potato.

I'm so bad at dancing, I once tripped over my own feet in the middle of a conga line.

I'm so uncoordinated, I once tried to juggle and ended up throwing a ball through my own window.

I'm like a professional at embarrassing myself in public, it's practically a talent at this point.

I'm like a walking Murphy's Law, if something can go wrong, it definitely will when I'm around.

I'm so awkward, I once mistook a stranger waving at someone behind me as a friendly gesture towards me.

I'm so bad at shopping, I once bought the same item twice in the same store.

I'm so unathletic, I once got winded just watching a workout video.

I'm such a terrible dancer, I once cleared the dance floor just by attempting the Macarena.

I'm like a magnet for awkward situations, I can make things uncomfortable without even trying.

I'm so uncoordinated, I have to make an appointment to walk and chew gum at the same time.

I'm so bad at technology, my laptop issued a restraining order against me.

I'm like a human GPS, except I always end up taking the scenic route...to the wrong destination.

I'm such a lightweight, I get tipsy from just reading a wine menu.

I'm so uncoordinated, I once sprained my ankle trying to put on pants.

I'm like a plant, I wilt without enough sunlight and water, but thrive on neglect.

I have the memory of a goldfish, I forget what I'm saying mid-sentence.

I'm the type of person who gets excited about cancelling plans.

I tried to DIY a home decor project and ended up creating a Pinterest fail.

I have the attention span of a squirrel, I can't even finish a TV show without getting distracted.

I'm like a walking disaster, wherever I go chaos and confusion follow.