I tried to be trendy and bought skinny jeans. Let's just say they're not called skinny because of the fabric.

I tried to start a daily exercise routine. Ended up with a daily routine of pressing the snooze button.

I went to a DIY workshop and accidentally glued my hand to my forehead. They say it takes a special kind of talent to do that.

I'm so clumsy, I trip over air molecules on a regular basis.

I'm so bad at singing, my voice is the reason karaoke bars have a two-drink minimum.

I'm so bad at cooking, my microwave gave me a warning for attempted murder.

I'm not saying I'm a procrastinator, but my to-do list has a to-do list.

I'm not saying I'm a bad driver, but I make pedestrians nervous from three blocks away.

I'm so bad at technology, I once accidentally live-streamed my cat for an hour.

I'm so bad at shopping, I once spent an hour looking for my glasses... while wearing them.

I'm so bad at chemistry, my love life could be a periodic table of disasters.

I'm so bad at spelling, even autocorrect doesn't know what I'm trying to say.

I'm so bad at receiving compliments, I once responded with 'Thanks, I grew it myself' about my haircut.

I'm not saying I'm a disaster in the kitchen, but I once set off the smoke alarm making a salad.

I'm so bad at being punctual, I'm on a first-name basis with the late fees at the library.

I'm not saying I'm forgetful, but I once got lost in my own thoughts... and it took me three days to find my way back.

I'm so bad at following instructions, I once ended up assembling a bookshelf upside down and now it's a coffee table.

I'm so bad at dieting, I consider chocolate a food group on its own.

I'm so bad at adulting, I recently tried to make appointments for my stuffed animals at the vet.

I'm so bad at photography, I once took a selfie and the camera cracked.

I'm not saying I'm lazy, but when I do exercise, I consider reaching for the remote a workout.