I'm not saying I'm bad at dating, but my last relationship ended because I accidentally sent a text meant for my therapist to my boyfriend.

I'm a pro at embarrassing myself in front of a crush, it's basically a skill at this point.

I tried to impress my boss with a joke, let's just say I'm still waiting for that promotion.

I'm so forgetful, I once went grocery shopping and left my wallet at home.

I'm like a human mosquito repellent - no one wants to be around me.

I have a closet full of clothes and still wear the same four outfits on rotation.

I tried to do a cartwheel the other day and almost ended up in the hospital.

I'm the only person I know who can trip over their own shadow.

I asked my friends to rate me out of 10, they said I was a solid 5...on a good day.

I'm the reason why the saying 'practice makes perfect' exists.

I once tried to impress a crush by showing off my dance moves, let's just say it didn't end well.

I'm so terrible at dancing, I look like a malfunctioning robot on the dance floor.

I'm so awkward, I could make a cactus feel uncomfortable.

I'm so short, I can't even reach the top shelf in a dollhouse.

I'm so clumsy, I could trip over a wireless internet connection.

I'm so terrible at gardening, I once killed a cactus by overwatering it.

I'm so bad at reading maps, I once got lost in a parking lot.

I'm so uncoordinated, I can trip over my own feet while standing still.

I'm so socially awkward, my plants don't even want to talk to me.

I'm like a magnet for bad luck, I should come with a warning label.

I'm so bad at time management, I have a to-do list for my to-do list.