I'm the kind of person who trips over flat surfaces and apologizes to inanimate objects.

I'm not the best at socializing, I once tried to start a conversation with a plant.

I'm the type of person who always loses at rock, paper, scissors...against myself.

I'm not great at technology, I once accidentally FaceTimed my dog while trying to call a friend.

I'm so bad with money, I once tried to pay for groceries with a library card.

I'm not very good at telling stories, I always forget the punchline...if there even was one.

I'm so bad at pretending to be busy, my cat knows I'm just sitting on the couch scrolling through memes.

I'm not the most organized person, I once lost my phone while talking on it.

I'm so bad at singing, I could make a tone-deaf person cringe.

I'm not the best at cooking, I once burned a salad.

I'm not just forgetful, I have selective amnesia about important events in my life.

I'm not just a daydreamer, I'm a professional space cadet.

I'm the only person who can trip over nothing and still manage to break something.

I tried to learn how to juggle once, but I quickly realized I can't even handle one ball.

I'm not a picky eater, I just have a very sophisticated palate...for chicken nuggets.

I'm not a fashionista, I'm more of a 'grab the first thing I see in my closet' kind of person.

I'm not just a bad dancer, I'm a walking hazard on the dance floor.

I'm the kind of person who constantly loses their phone...while talking on it.

I'm not just a procrastinator, I'm a highly skilled professional at avoiding responsibilities.

I'm so clumsy, I trip over my own shoelaces on a daily basis.

I'm not an early bird or a night owl, I'm more of a permanently exhausted pigeon.