I'm the reason why they put 'wash separately' labels on clothes. I'm a rebel like that.

I have a 'healthy' relationship with junk food. By healthy, I mean I eat a lot of it.

I'm so bad at cooking, I can't even make a PB&J without burning the toast.

I'm not great at sports... unless you count binge-watching Netflix as a sport.

My wardrobe consists of 50 shades of black. Who needs colors, right?

I tried to follow a makeup tutorial once and ended up looking like a clown on stilts.

I'm the type of person who trips over air and apologizes to the ground.

I once tried to learn a new language and accidentally insulted my own grandma.

I once tried to impress someone by flexing, and they thought I was trying to open a jar.

I'm so bad at dancing, my moves are known as the 'emergency exit'.

I thought I was a good singer until my neighbor asked me to stop singing in the shower.

I once accidentally liked my own post on social media and pretended it was intentional.

I tried to learn a magic trick and ended up making my wallet disappear for a week.

I'm so clumsy, I've donated more blood to mosquitoes than to blood banks.

I thought I was a good cook until my smoke alarm applauded my efforts.

I'm so indecisive, I can't even decide what my biggest flaw is.

I'm so bad at saving money, I make broke look like a financial plan.

I'm so bad at sports, I once lost a game of solitaire.

I'm so uncoordinated, I manage to trip over my own shadow.

I'm such a klutz, my shadow walks away from me.

I took a selfie and my front camera cracked.