I'm so bad at singing, I was once asked to lip sync at a karaoke bar.

I'm so bad at parties, I always end up sitting alone in the corner with the houseplant.

I'm so bad at technology, I once tried to Google something on my microwave.

I'm so bad at sports, I once pulled a hamstring watching a workout video.

I'm so bad at fashion, my wardrobe has been compared to a lost and found.

I'm so bad at time management, I'm still working on my New Year's resolutions from three years ago.

I'm so bad at fashion, my mirror told me to stop trying.

I'm so bad at sports, my Fitbit sends me a reminder to move.

I'm so bad at singing, my voice cracked while lip-syncing.

I'm so bad at technology, I once called tech support for help sending a text message.

I'm so bad at sports, my Fitbit congratulates me for reaching my daily nap goal.

I tell people I'm a multitasker, but really I just can't focus on one thing at a time.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

I tried to organize my life, but my to-do list just became a list of things I'll never get around to.

I'm the type of person who leaves voicemails just to apologize for leaving a voicemail.

I'm not a morning person, or an afternoon person. Actually, I'm just not a person until I've had my coffee.

I like to think of myself as a social butterfly, but I'm more like a social caterpillar still trying to figure out how to fly.

I signed up for a marathon once, but only made it to the starting line before calling for a ride home.

I tried to be trendy once, but the only thing that caught on was the lint roller I always carry around.

I'm like a Rubik's Cube - confusing, frustrating, and most people give up on me after a few minutes.

I once locked myself out of my own car, then stood there and argued with myself for an hour before admitting defeat.