I'm so bad at crafts, I once tried to knit a sweater and ended up with a scarf for a mouse.

I'm so bad at cooking, I once tried to make a salad and ended up ordering pizza.

I'm so bad at texting, I once sent a thumbs up emoji to someone who just told me their dog died.

I'm so bad at decision-making, I once spent a week trying to decide if I should get bangs.

I'm so bad at directions, I once followed my GPS into a lake.

I'm so bad at dating, I once brought a map to a blind date thinking it was a treasure hunt.

I'm so bad at fashion, I once wore a costume to a formal event thinking it was a themed party.

I'm so bad at multitasking, I can only focus on one thing at a time. Or not even that.

I'm so bad at gardening, I once tried to plant fake flowers thinking they were real.

I'm so out of shape, my Fitbit sends me condolence messages.

I'm so bad at singing, my shower curtain cringes.

I'm so clumsy, I trip over my own feet in a metaphorical sense too.

I'm so awkward, even my shadow avoids me.

I'm so bad at social media, my tweets have an unsubscribe button.

I'm so bad at public speaking, I once got a standing ovation for saying 'um' 50 times.

I'm so bad at fashion, my closet wears a blindfold.

I'm so bad at cooking, I once forgot to turn on the stove to boil water.

I'm so bad at selfies, even the camera app sighs when I open it.

I'm so bad at online shopping, I once accidentally bought a llama costume instead of a sweater.

I'm so bad at art, my stick figures have low self-esteem.

I'm so bad at gift-giving, my presents come with an apology note.