I always get picked last in sports, unless it's a weird sport like synchronized swimming. Then I somehow manage to get picked last there too.

I tried to join a cooking class to impress my friends, but it turns out I can even burn a salad.

I’m so clumsy that I tripped over a wireless network once.

I’m not saying I’m a bad dancer, but my signature move is called “the Sprain.”

I’m so bad at taking selfies, they end up looking like criminal mugshots.

I thought I was good at math until I tried to split a bill with friends and suddenly forgot how to count.

I’m not great at making decisions. I once spent an hour deciding what to watch on Netflix, only to end up rewatching The Office for the hundredth time.

I once tried to be a stand-up comedian, but the audience laughed more at me than my jokes.

I’m so bad at technology that my grandparents ask me for help with their smartphones.

I'm so unathletic, I get winded going up a flight of stairs.

I'm so bad at flirting, I once got friend-zoned by a plant.

I'm so unmusical, I make a tone-deaf walrus sound melodic.

I'm so unlucky, I could trip over a wireless internet connection.

I'm so plain, I could disappear in a room full of beige paint.

I'm so bad at small talk, I once had a full conversation with a vending machine.

I'm so forgettable, I introduce myself to people multiple times a week.

I'm so bad at math, I count on my fingers...and still get it wrong.

I'm so bad at socializing, I once tried to high-five someone and missed.

I'm so out of shape, my Fitbit sent me a sympathy card.

I'm so broke, my bank account sends me warning letters just for opening the app.

I'm so uncoordinated, I can trip over flat ground.