I'm so frugal, I celebrated finding a quarter on the ground.

I'm such a procrastinator, I've put off procrastinating.

I'm so bad at gardening, I once managed to kill a cactus.

I'm so bad at fashion, I still have clothes from high school in my closet.

I'm so indecisive that I have trouble even choosing a favorite color.

I'm so uncoordinated that I can't even dance in the shower without slipping.

I'm so bad at parking that even the shopping cart returns have rejected me.

I'm so clumsy that my Fitbit thinks I've been doing jumping jacks all day.

I'm so lazy, I tried to participate in a self-help group but couldn't even motivate myself to attend the meetings.

I'm so clumsy, I tripped over a wireless phone charger and knocked myself out.

I'm so forgetful, I once went to a job interview and realized halfway through that I forgot to put on pants.

I’m not the most fashionable person. I once wore slippers to a job interview thinking they were dress shoes.

I’m so bad at fixing things that my toolbox is mainly used for storage.

I thought about starting a band, but realized I can’t even sing in the shower without scaring away my neighbors.

I’m not great at remembering names. I once introduced myself to someone I’ve known for years.

I’m so bad at fishing that even the fishes avoid my bait like it’s a trap.

I tried to impress a date by cooking dinner, but the smoke alarm seemed more impressed than they were.

I’m not the best with technology. I once accidentally called my boss while trying to silence my phone in a meeting.

I’m so bad at sports that the coaches would rather put me on the bench than risk me playing.

I’m not the most graceful person. I once fell up the stairs in front of a crowded room.

I'm so clumsy, I trip over my own shoelaces... Velcro shoelaces.