I'm so clumsy, I could trip over a thought.

I'm so bad at singing, I could make a cat yowl sound like opera.

I'm so bad at dancing, I have two left feet and they're both right.

I'm so uncoordinated, I once got a concussion from dodging a compliment.

I'm so awkward, I have a black belt in accidental insults.

I'm so awkward, I introduce myself to people I've already met.

I spend so much time online, I consider myself a wifi warrior.

Whenever I go to the gym, I'm pretty sure they think I'm lost.

I'm so bad at cooking, my smoke alarm is my most frequent dinner guest.

I once tried to teach myself to juggle, and now I have a permanent fear of flying objects.

I'm like a plant, except I don't need sunlight, I need pizza.

I have the fashion sense of a potato sack with holes in it.

I'm the type of person who would accidentally start a fire with a microwave.

I have the dance moves of a scarecrow in a hurricane.

I have the memory of a goldfish with short-term memory loss.

I once tried to fix something with duct tape, and now it's a permanent fixture in my home decor.

I have the coordination of a toddler trying to play chess.

I'm the kind of person who would forget their own birthday if it wasn't for Facebook.

I'm so bad at DIY projects, I once managed to superglue my own fingers together.

I have the singing voice of a cat in heat.

I'm the only person I know who can lose a sock in a sock drawer.