I'm so forgetful, I once left my phone in the refrigerator.

I have the technological skills of a grandma trying to use a VCR.

I'm so bad at timing, I once missed my own surprise party.

I'm like a piece of bread, always getting toasted in social situations.

I'm so bad at dating, my love life is sponsored by Netflix.

I'm like a human USB drive, always forgetting where I left important information.

I'm so clumsy, I should come with a 'Caution: Slippery When Wet' sign.

I'm like a not-so-smart phone, constantly in need of updates and always low on battery.

I'm so bad at organization, my closet looks like a tornado hit it... multiple times.

I'm so forgetful, I once Googled 'where did I put my phone'.

I’m so clumsy, I trip over my own words.

I’m so bad at technology, I’m surprised my toaster hasn’t filed a complaint.

I’m so lazy, I’d probably get tired if I tried to take a nap.

I asked my mirror who the fairest of them all was and it just laughed.

I went on a diet but it just didn’t work out. I only lost my motivation.

I’m so clumsy, I trip over wireless networks.

I’m like a tree, good for nothing but providing shade.

I tried to organize my life but my folders just ended up in a mess.

I’m so forgetful, I went to a party in my pajamas – and it wasn’t a pajama party.

I tried to be a people person but I’m more of a people-thrower-offer.

I’m so bad at spelling, my auto-correct has given up trying to save me.