I tried to make a joke about social distancing, but then I remembered I have no friends.

I tried to take a selfie, but my camera cracked.

I asked my mirror if I was the fairest of them all, and it replied, 'Sorry, I can't perform miracles.'

I'm so bad at taking hints, I once missed a 'Do Not Enter' sign and ended up on a highway.

I'm so bad at fashion, I wore a Halloween costume to work and said it was 'casual Friday'.

I'm so bad at adulting, I still call pizza 'vegetables'.

I'm so bad at multitasking, I burned toast while watching it in the toaster.

I'm so bad at singing, I once broke a glass with my voice.

I'm so bad at directions, my GPS reroutes me to my own driveway.

I'm so bad with technology, I still use a fax machine.

I'm so bad at saving money, I collect coupons but never use them.

I'm so bad at taking selfies, I cut off half my face in every photo.

I'm such a bad cook, my microwave groans when I approach it.

I'm so bad at technology, I once asked Google how to Google something.

I'm so bad at organizing, I lost my keys and found them in the fridge.

I'm so bad at giving directions, I told someone 'you can't miss it' and they did.

I'm such a bad driver, I confuse the gas pedal with the brake pedal.

I'm so terrible at sports, I once got a concussion playing mini golf.

I'm so indecisive, I can't even decide what to have for breakfast.

I'm so bad at math, I once thought a quarter past was 25 o'clock.

I'm such a lightweight, I get tipsy from using hand sanitizer.