I'm so uncoordinated, I once got a concussion from walking into a door.

I'm such a bad driver, I use my GPS just to find my way out of the parking lot.

I'm so bad at dancing, my shadow won't even follow me.

I tried to learn a new language, now I can barely speak my own.

I'm so uncool, even my imaginary friend doesn't want to hang out with me.

I tried to learn how to play the guitar, now my neighbors hate me.

I told my parents I wanted to be a comedian and they laughed at me... well, they're not laughing now.

I'm so bad at sports, even quidditch isn't an option for me.

I tried to join a support group for people with low self-esteem, but they wouldn't let me in.

I went to a party and no one noticed I was there...until I left.

I'm like a mosquito in a nudist colony, I don't know where to start.

I'm so clumsy, I trip over the vacuum.

I tried to join a karaoke competition, they said they don't accept tone-deaf contestants.

I'm so bad at DIY, I once glued my hand to my forehead.

I tried to do stand-up comedy, but the audience thought I was sitting.

I asked an artist to paint my portrait, they used a dotted line.

I'm so bad at saving money, I could go broke in a Monopoly game.

I'm as graceful as a baby giraffe on stilts.

I'm so bad at fashion, I make plaid and polka dots look good together.

I'm like a fish trying to climb a tree - out of my element and struggling.

I'm as graceful as a drunk flamingo trying to walk.