I'm so bad at dancing, I once mistaken a twerk for a twirl.

I'm so bad at dating, I've been stood up by my own reflection.

I'm so unathletic, I get tired just thinking about exercise.

I'm so bad at karaoke, the mic drops itself when I step on stage.

I'm such a bad dancer, I can trip over my own two feet while standing still.

I'm such a bad singer, my showerhead starts leaking when I try to hit high notes.

I'm so bad at DIY projects, I once failed at assembling a pre-assembled bookshelf.

I'm such a bad cook, my smoke detector goes off as soon as I turn on the stove.

I'm so accident-prone, I've been on a first-name basis with every nurse at the ER.

I'm such a terrible singer, my shower turns itself off when I start singing.

I'm so unathletic, even my Fitbit sends me a sympathy card.

I have the texting skills of a 90-year-old. LOL.

I'm a magnet for awkward situations. It's a gift, really.

I have the memory of a goldfish. What were we talking about?

I have the singing voice of a dying cat. Meow.

I never know what's going on in pop culture. Who is Taylor Swift?

I'm a disaster in the kitchen. Even the smoke alarm is afraid of me.

I'm so bad with directions, I get lost playing video games.

I have the attention span of a squirrel. Nuts!

I'm the reason why bubble wrap was invented. I need protection.

I'm not great at math. In fact, I count on my fingers in public.