I'm not athletic, I once pulled a muscle trying to open a pickle jar.

I'm not a great cook, my signature dish is 'microwaved leftovers'.

I'm not a great singer, my shower head has asked me to stop trying.

I like to think of myself as an acquired taste - not everyone likes me.

I would lose a battle of wits with a rock.

I'm not indecisive, unless you count when I'm trying to decide if I'm indecisive or not.

I'm like a human Rubik's cube - complicated and no one knows how to solve me.

I'm the light at the end of the tunnel - unfortunately, it's an oncoming train.

I'm not awkward, I'm just exceptionally good at being uncomfortable.

I'm not saying I'm forgetful, but I once wore two different shoes to work.

I'm so bad at DIY projects, I'm pretty sure my hammer is just for show.

I'm not saying I'm a bad driver, but my GPS has a special setting just for me.

I'm so bad at technology, I still don't know what my Wi-Fi password is.

I'm so bad at making plans, I can barely commit to watching a movie on Netflix.

I'm so bad at gardening, I make plants wilt just by looking at them.

I'm not saying I'm uncoordinated, but I once sprained my ankle while sleeping.

I'm so bad at DIY projects, my tool kit is just a collection of items I've accidentally broken.

I'm not saying I'm a bad driver, but I've been honked at by pedestrians.

I'm so bad at adulting, I consider making my bed a major accomplishment.

I'm not saying I'm forgetful, but I've walked into a room and forgot why I went in there more times than I can count.

I'm so bad at sports, I once threw a bowling ball backwards.