I'm so bad at budgeting, I could probably make a fortune selling empty wallets.

I'm so bad at small talk, I could probably make it awkward even with a mirror.

I'm not saying I'm a terrible dancer, but even my shadow makes fun of my moves.

I'm such a picky eater, I make a toddler look adventurous.

I'm the kind of person who goes to bed early and then lies awake all night thinking about how I need to sleep.

I'm not sure if I have imposter syndrome or if I'm just actually terrible at everything.

I'm the queen of procrastination. I once waited until the last minute to start a procrastination workshop.

I'm not old, I'm vintage...like a fine wine that no one really likes.

I'm like a human magnet, but instead of attracting good things, I attract awkward situations.

I'm not saying I'm forgetful, but sometimes I forget what I'm saying in the middle of a sentence.

I'm not good at math - I can't even count how many times I've made a math mistake.

I'm like a GPS without signal - confused, lost, and constantly recalculating.

I'm not the life of the party, I'm more like the nap of the party.

I'm not a control freak, I just have a very detailed plan for how everything should go...at all times.

I'm not clumsy, I'm just testing the durability of objects with my feet.

I'm not a picky eater, I just have very low standards when it comes to food.

I tried to be a beach body, but ended up more like a beached whale.

I'm like a computer without internet - slow, full of errors, and needs constant rebooting.

I'm not clumsy, I'm just dancing to my own beat...on the floor.

I'm not great with directions. I once got lost in my own neighborhood.

I'm not a morning person. I need coffee just to be able to make my coffee.