Why did the tomato go to the party? Because it wanted to ketchup!

Why did the skeleton go to the party? Because he had nobody to go with!

Why did the bicycle take a nap? It was tired!

Why did the tomato turn blue? Because it saw the salad dressing!

Why did the belt get promoted at work? Because it was holding up pants!

Why did the scarecrow win the marathon? Because it was outstanding in its field!

Why did the bicycle refuse to talk? It was two-tired!

Why did the boxer go to jail? He threw too many punches!

Why did the pencil go to the party? It heard it would be sharp!

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad-dressing!

Why did the laugh track get fired? It didn't have a good sense of timing!

Why did the ice cream truck break down? It had too many scoops!

Why couldn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to dance with!

A man walked into a bar... Ouch!

Why did the banana visit the doctor? It wasn't peeling well!

Did you hear about the painter who got into a fight? He brushed it off!

I used to play piano with my eyes closed. But now I use my feet.

I entered ten puns in a pun contest to see which one would win. No pun in ten did.

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

Why was the music teacher arrested? He got caught with too many sharp objects!

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired to stand!