Why did the chef bring a pencil to the kitchen? To draw up a recipe!

Why did the music teacher go to jail? Assault with a deadly treble!

What did the sheep say to the barber? Cut my hair so I can see the ewe!

What did the banana say to the dog? You're a-peeling!

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and then cross the road again? Because he was a dirty double-crosser!

Did you hear about the math book who was terrible at geometry? It always had trouble with shapes!

Why did the belt get locked up? It held up a bank!

Why did the scarecrow win an award for farming? He was outstanding in his field!

Why was the broom late for work? It overswept!

What do you call a mushroom who buys all the drinks at the bar? A fungi to be around!

Why was the baseball player a bad musician? He couldn't find the right pitch!

Why did the scarecrow win an award for being witty? He was outstanding in corn-edy!

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!

Why did the magician get locked out of the house? He forgot his magic wand!

What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones!

Why did the basketball go to the team's party? It heard they were going to have a ball!

What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? Denis!

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He's lucky it was a soft drink!

What's a frog's favorite game? Kermitment to exercise!

Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the No-bell prize!

Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field!