What did the painter say when he fell off the ladder? That's the last step I'm painting!

Why did the zombie go to the bar? To get a cold one!

Why did the bicycle fall over when it tried to jump? It didn't have the pedal power!

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack abs? An abdominal snowman!

Why did the tomato turn red and run away? It saw the ketchup bottle and froze!

How do you make a lemon shake? Put it in a snow cone and jiggle!

Why did the scarecrow refuse to eat at the farm cafeteria? It heard the corn was getting husked!

Why did the basketball go to the spa? It needed to relax and bounce back!

Why did the bed go to school? It wanted to become a cover model!

Why did the tomato hide from the salad? It knew it would get tossed!

Why was the math book in an argument with the history book? Because it always counted on itself!

Why did the banana wear sunscreen at the beach? To avoid getting peeled!

Why did the car's tires break up? They couldn't handle the pressure anymore!

Why did the tree have a job as a personal assistant? It was great at organ-izing things!

Why was the stadium so cool? It was full of fans!

Why did the scarecrow get a job as a stand-up comedian? He always knew when to crack a joke!

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana peel? Slipping footwear!

Why couldn't the pirate finish the alphabet? He got lost at 'C'!

What did one ice cube say to the other ice cube before the party? Chill out, man!

What do you call a bear with no teeth and a cold? A shivery gummy bear!

What did the banana say to the doctor after surgery? I'm all peeled up now!