What do you call a raccoon with a regular job? A professional bandit!

Why did the giraffe break up with the zebra? He was always telling tall tales!

How do you know if there's an elephant in your pub? He's the one drinking straight from the trunk!

What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle's back? Weeee!

How do you make a cat happy? Give her a purr-ty!

Why did the robin sit on the power line? He wanted a tweet view!

Why did the horse go behind the tree? To change his jockeys!

What happens when you cross a bulldog and a whoopee cushion? You get a whoopie dog!

Why did the koala go to the doctor? He had a severe case of eucalyptus-trophobia!

How do you stop a fish from singing off-key? You tuna-fish!

Why was the sheep feeling blue? She was feeling a little wooly!

Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!

Why did the squirrel bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!

What do you get when you cross a cat and a lemon? A sourpuss!

Why don't sharks like fast food? Because they can't catch it!

How do you make a hamster happy? By giving it a wheel-y good time!

What kind of magazine does a turtle read? Slow News Day!

What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator? A friend you can count on!

How do you know if a cat is agitated? It's whiskered away!

What do you call a magic owl? Hoodini!

Why did the koala get a job at the bank? He heard they have great eucalyptus!