How did the pickles feel after the jar broke? They were in quite a pickle.

Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the cucumber blush.

What did one hat say to the other hat? 'You hang around here, I'll go on ahead.'

Why did the skeleton burp at the dinner table? He had no stomach to hold it in.

What did the penny say to the nickel? I get cents.

What did the magnet say to the paper? I find you very attractive.

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? It could never change its spots.

Why was the belt sent to jail? It held up a bank.

Why did the skeleton go to the party? To meet some body.

Why did the scarecrow join a music band? He wanted to be outstanding in his field.

Why couldn't the sesame seed leave the kitchen? It was jammed.

Why was the broom running around the house? It heard it needed to sweep the nation.

Why don't ants get sick? They have tiny ant-e-bodies.

What did the math book order at the restaurant? Square root vegetables.

What did the tree say to the park bench? 'Birch, please.'

Why did the chicken sit on her eggs? Because she didn't have any chairs

Why did the girl bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house

Why did the farmer install a doorbell on his tractor? He wanted to hear ding-ding.

Why did the square go to the beach? To get tan.

Why did the scientist go to art school? To draw conclusions.

Why did the balloon bring tissues to the party? Because it knew there would be tears.