Why did the golfer bring two pairs of shoes? To match his outfit changes.

How does a penguin build its house? With lots of sliding doors.

Why was the math book happy? Because it finally had all the right answers.

Why did the scarecrow never win any awards? Because it was just doing its job.

Why was the belt not arrested? It followed the rules and never held up anyone.

What did one wall say to the other wall? We should really brick this relationship.

Why did the tomato not turn red? It was genetically modified to stay green.

Why did the bicycle stay upright? It had a kickstand to lean on.

How does a penguin build its house? With pre-fabricated ice blocks.

Why don't scientists trust atoms? They trust their data and experiments instead.

What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Water you thinking?

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it wasn't properly balanced.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Let's make some waves, mate.

What did one hat say to the other hat? You cap-tivate me.

How do you catch a squirrel? By setting up a squirrel-friendly trap.

Why did the chicken not cross the road? It was content with where it was.

What did the farmer say when he found his missing cow? Oh, there you are.

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta trying to fit in.

Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a hard drive and needed a re-boot.

What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Solely focused on foot puns.

Why don't skeletons prank each other? Because they have no funny bones.