Why did the tomato go out with a prune? It was feeling a little dried up.

How do you organize a space party? You planet meticulously and send out orbitary invites.

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They're too busy discussing shipping rates.

What did one snowman say to the other snowman? Is it me or is it getting slushy in here?

Why was the math book sad? Because it had so many irrational thoughts.

Why was the belt arrested? It was caught in a waistful act.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite... and some confused children.

Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of geometry? He'll avoid it at all angles.

How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fish.

I told my computer I needed a break and it told me to get a KitKat.

Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it.

Why did the hat break up with the scarf? It felt tied down.

What did the calendar say to the clock? 'Time flies!'

Why did the belt break up with the pants? It felt cinched in.

Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted? He was outstanding at his job.

Why did the skeleton refuse to go on a roller coaster? He didn't have the stomach for it.

Why did the belt get thrown in jail? It was holding up a pair of pants.

Why was the pencil sharpener so good at its job? It had a point.

What did one sock say to the other sock? I'll hang around here, you go on a head.

What did one plate say to the other plate? You crack me up.

What did one wall say to the other wall? Sometimes, I feel like we're just stuck here.