What's the best way to clean a mirror? Reflect on it.

Why did the toilet paper bring a newspaper to the bathroom? For some light reading.

What is a vampire's least favorite fruit? A blood orange!

What's the laziest mountain on Earth? Mount Ever-rest!

Why did the toilet paper roll run down the hill? To get to the bottom!

Why did the toilet seat file a police report? It got cracked down the middle!

Why did the toilet paper roll feel inadequate? It had toilet tissue issues!

What did the drain say to the hair clog? Long time no see!

Why did the toothbrush refuse to go to the bathroom party? It had bad bristles with everyone there!

What did the bathroom scale say to the mirror? Stop reflecting on yourself!

What did the bathtub say to the soap? Stop rubbing me the wrong way!

Why do toilets make terrible spies? Because they always crack under pressure!

What did the shower curtain say to the floor mat? You're too clingy!

Why was the toilet plunger so well-rounded? It handled all situations with ease!

What did one shower head say to the other? I'm feeling pressured to perform!

Why do ghosts love going to the bathroom? Because they can finally let out a ghoul fart!

What did the sink say to the toilet? You're full of crap!

Why was the toilet paper jealous of the paper towel? Because it gets to clean up bigger messes!

What do you call a bathroom superhero? Flash-flood!

What's the best time to go to the dentist? Two-thirty, tooth-hurty.

How do you cut the ocean in half? With a sea saw.