How does a vampire clean its house? With a vacuum cleaner!

What do you call a cow in an earthquake? A milkshake!

What do you call a baby monkey? A chimp off the old block!

What do you call a bear in the bathroom? A grizzly business!

How do you unlock a bathroom door? With a toilet-key!

What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look a little flushed!

Why was the belt arrested? For holding up the pants!

What do you call a dinosaur in the bathroom? A potty-saurus!

Why did the fungi leave the party? There wasn't mushroom!

Why was the germ blushing? It saw a germ-some bacteria!

Why did the math book get a cold? It couldn't solve for flu!

Why did the germ bring a cake to the party? It wanted to be a fun-guy!

What did the germ say to the microscope? Keep focusing on me!

How does the germ travel? By micro-bus!

Why did the toilet paper bring a backpack? It wanted to wipe out the competition!

What did the germ get as a gift? The virus!

How does a tree go online? It logs in!

What did the math book do on vacation? Work on its tan!

What did the sink say to the kitchen? You're all washed up!

What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey!

Why did the germ go to school? It wanted to be a well-rounded virus!