What did the blonde say when she heard it was raining cats and dogs? 'I hope it's not poodle-ing out there.'

Why did the blonde take a mirror to the selfie convention? She wanted to reflect on her choices.

Why did the blonde wear headphones to the concert? She heard it was all about the bass.

Why did the blonde take a ladder to the races? She heard it was a high stakes event.

What did the blonde say when she saw the highway sign 'Do Not Pass'? 'I wonder if there's a way around.'

Why did the blonde bring a map to the BBQ? She heard they were grilling up some hot dogs.

Why was the blonde staring at the juice carton? It said 'Concentrate' on it.

What did the blonde say to the physicist? 'I have a theory that you should buy me a drink.'

How do you drown a blonde in a submarine? Knock on the hatch.

How did the blonde break her arm while swimming? She hit rock bottom.

Why did the blonde bring a mirror to the grocery store? She wanted to see if she was on sale.

Why did the blonde take a ruler to the gym? She wanted to measure her workout.

How did the blonde break her leg while gardening? She planted herself too firmly.

Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the concert? She heard it was going to be a stirring performance.

How did the blonde break her leg at the casino? She tripped over a chip on her shoulder.

Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the picnic? She heard it was going to be a 'fork' in the road.

What did the blonde say when she saw the 'Out of order' sign? 'That's okay, I'm out of order too!'

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the concert? She wanted to climb the charts.

How did the blonde break her arm while jogging? She slipped on a slide.

Why did the blonde bring a mirror to the restaurant? She wanted to reflect on the menu.

What did the blonde say when she saw the 'No Smoking' sign? 'But I brought my own fire!'