How did the blonde break her ankle? She slipped on a banana peel she thought was a slide.

Why did the blonde take a book to the bar? She wanted to read between the wines.

How did the blonde break her arm while jogging? She tripped over her own shadow.

Why did the blonde take a calculator to bed? She wanted to count sheep.

Why did the blonde bring a car to the bar? She heard they were serving cocktails.

Why did the blonde take a ladder to the gym? She heard it had a lot of steps.

How did the blonde break her wrist while walking? She tripped over a crack in the sidewalk.

How did the blonde break her toe while walking? She stubbed it on a thought.

Why did the blonde take a shovel to the party? She heard they were throwing dirt on each other.

Why did the blonde wear a coat while she was painting? The instructions said 'apply two coats.'

Why did the blonde bring a hairbrush to the bar? She wanted to have a brush with fame.

What do you call a blonde with a Ph.D.? A doctorate.

How did the blonde break her nose while raking leaves? She sneezed too hard.

Why did the blonde wear a condom on her head? She wanted to practice safe sex.

What did the blonde do when she missed her period? She had a baby.

Why did the blonde consider a dishwasher her secret weapon? It's a deadly weapon.

How did the blonde die ice fishing? She fell out of the helicopter.

What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme? Humpdy Dumpdy went to town with a baseball bat.

What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A pork chop.

Why did the blonde wear a turtleneck to the bar? To cover up her hickeys.

Why did the blonde refuse to play hide and seek? She preferred seek and destroy.