Why did the blonde always carry a ruler with her? To measure up to expectations.

What did the blonde say when asked what's brown and sticky? 'A stick? An interesting conversation starter?'

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a laptop? A branch manager.

Why did the blonde think she could fly with a kite made of concrete? She wanted to test gravity.

How did the blonde break her toe while playing soccer? She mistook the ball for her foot.

Why did the blonde bring a parachute to the office? To jump to conclusions faster.

What do you call a blonde driving a blue car? Lost.

How does a blonde ensure she gets enough sleep? By setting her alarm for every 10 minutes.

What did the blonde say when she saw the movie was in black and white? 'Why didn't they film it in color?'

Why did the blonde wear a coat in the summer? She heard it was going to be chili outside.

How did the blonde fix a flat tire? She put it back in the oven to bake some more.

Why did the blonde buy a roof rack? To carry ceiling fans.

What happened when the blonde went to the library? She asked if they had any books on how to read.

Why did the blonde go to the doctor with a ruler? She wanted to measure her temperature.

How did the blonde try to pay for a drink? She tried to swipe her credit card in the tip jar.

What do you call a blonde with dyed hair? Artificial intelligence.

How do you get a blonde's eyes to light up? Shine a flashlight in her ears.

What do you call a blonde who dyes their hair brown? An intellectual.

Why did the blonde bring a map to bed? She wanted to dream of distant places.

How did the blonde break her finger at the gym? She pressed too hard on the 'elevator' button on the treadmill.

Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the restaurant? She heard they were serving soup with a side of irony.