Why did the blonde put her phone on airplane mode? She heard it would help her meet pilots.

How did the blonde try to alphabetize her m&ms? She put them in reverse alphabetical order.

Why did the blonde bring a coat to the bar? She heard they were serving Long Island iced teas.

Why did the blonde carry a mirror with her to the bar? So she could see double.

What do you call a blonde who works as a chef? A recipe for disaster.

Why did the blonde try to paint the ceiling without moving the furniture? She wanted a high quality finish.

How did the blonde try to avoid getting a sunburn? By staying in the shade of her own intelligence.

How did the blonde ice fish? She went to the frozen food section and waited for a bite.

Why did the blonde try to water the garden with a hose in the winter? She heard it was a hot trend.

How did the blonde go on a diet? By removing the calories from her math equations.

What do you call a blonde with a brain? A golden opportunity.

What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? 'Oooo, doughnut seeds!'

What did the blonde say when she saw the blinking light on the dashboard? 'Oh no, the radio's put on its seatbelt!'

What happened to the blonde at the soccer game? She drowned during the corner kick.

Why did the blonde only bring a car door to the desert? So she could roll down the window when it gets hot.

What does a blonde do when she's cold? She sits by a corner. It's 90 degrees.

Why did the blonde get excited about the calendar? She thought it was a mirror.

What did the blonde say when asked where eggs come from? 'Eggplants, obviously.'

Why did the blonde buy a video camera? To record Lifetime.

What did the blonde do when she couldn't find her pencil? She used her fingers as a backup.

Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? She thought it was a science experiment.