Why did the blonde stare at the bottle of ketchup for hours? It said 'Shake well before use'.

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? To raise the bar on her drinking capabilities.

Why did the blonde bring a spoon to the barbecue? In case there was a soup-er party.

Why do blondes always take a pen to the bar? To draw some attention.

Why did the blonde bring a pencil to the bar? So she could draw some conclusions.

How do you confuse a blonde on a Monday? Tell her it's Sunday and watch her try to go back a day.

Why did the blonde take a ruler to the beach? To measure the ocean.

What did the blonde say when she saw 'TGIF' on a calendar? 'Thank goodness it's February!'

Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? To raise a glass in celebration.

Why did the blonde bring a helmet to the bar? In case there was a beer run.

Why did the blonde take a baseball bat to the bar? In case she had to strike up a conversation.

Why did the blonde bring a GPS to the bar? To find her way back to sobriety.

Why did the blonde get excited about her new puzzle? It said 3-5 years on the box.

Why did the blonde bring a pillow to the bar? To take a shot every time she felt sleepy.

What did the blonde say when she saw a clock that said 'Stop Sign Ahead'? 'I wonder how they knew I was coming!'

How do you confuse a blonde on a Saturday? Put her in a room with a 'Do Not Disturb' sign and ask her to knock it down.

Why did the blonde bring a magnifying glass to the bar? To make small drinks appear bigger.

Why did the blonde bring a cactus to the bar? She heard it was a prickly situation.

Why did the blonde bring a tablespoon to the bar? For a shot of 'tablespooning'.

What did the blonde say to the mathematician? 'Why do you add and subtract letters?'

Why did the blonde stare at the frozen dinner? Because it said 'serve chilled'.