Why did the blonde bring a helmet to the bar? She heard there was a 'cranium-crushing' event.

What did the blonde do when she heard it was going to be a hot day? She put her sunscreen in the freezer.

How did the blonde try to alphabetize her M&Ms? She threw out the W's.

What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant? She went to look for the 'Alphabets' cereal.

How did the blonde try to avoid paying for parking? She parked in the 'no parking' zone.

What did the blonde do when she heard people were going streaking? She grabbed her hair dye.

Why did the blonde pour water on her computer? She heard it had a 'water-cooled' system.

How did the blonde try to share her ice cream with her friends? She tried to photocopy it.

Why did the blonde bring a TV to the bar? She heard it was a flat-screen.

What did the blonde do when she heard it was going to be a record-breaking snowstorm? She grabbed her skis.

Why did the blonde put her phone in the oven? She wanted to make hot calls.

How did the blonde try to fix her broken car radio? She turned up the volume.

Why did the blonde bring a book to the bar? She heard they were serving 'cocktails'.

How did the blonde try to cool down her tea? She put it in front of the fan.

Why did the blonde take a hammer to the bar? She heard they were serving 'brewskis.'

Why did the blonde bring a ruler to the beach? She wanted to measure the tide.

What did the blonde do when she heard it was going to be a hot day? She packed her snow boots.

Why did the blonde take a spoon to the bar? She heard it was a 'stirring' performance.

How did the blonde try to turn off the TV? She called the cable company.

Why did the blonde bring a map to the bar? She heard it was a 'directions' party.

What did the blonde do when she heard there was a sale on watermelons? She bought a ladder.