I finally got around to reading a book on clocks, it was about time.

I wanted to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it.

Why couldn't the gym close down? It just didn't work out.

I used to be a baker, but my business went crumby.

I told my wife she should do sit-ups to stay in shape, but she just laughed and rolled over.

I told my wife she should do squats to stay in shape, but she just couldn't rise to the occasion.

My wife told me she'll kick me out of the house if I don't stop making pasta puns. That's just penne-ful.

I used to be a baker, but my business went sour, I couldn't rise to the occasion anymore.

I told my wife she should do push-ups to stay in shape, she replied, 'Why, I pushed down a plate of food just fine.'

I used to be a baker, but then my business went flat, I couldn't rise anymore.

I told my wife she should do burpees to stay in shape, she said, 'I don't want to burp, I want to eat.'

I used to be a baker, but then I realized it was a crumby business.

I used to be a baker, but then my business went under, I couldn't rise anymore.

I told my wife she should learn how to juggle to stay in shape, but she said she's already juggling work and home.

I used to be a baker, but my business went downhill, I couldn't rise to the occasion anymore.

I told my wife she should plank to stay in shape, she said, 'I'm good, I already spend enough time on the board.'

I told my wife she should do yoga to stay in shape, she replied, 'Namaste in bed.'

I used to be a baker, but then I couldn't roll with the punches anymore.

Why did the peanut go to school? To become a little nutty.

I told my wife she should do cardio to stay in shape, she just laughed and walked away.

Why did the banker switch careers? He lost interest in the field.