Why did the math book need a break? It was overworked with multiplication.

I asked my boss if I could work from home - they told me to house the idea.

Why did the scarecrow become a model? Because it had outstanding stalks.

I told my wife she should meditate to reduce stress - now she's levitating.

Why did the scarecrow join a band? Because he had outstanding rhythm.

I told my computer to match me with the perfect date - now I'm dating a virus.

Why did the math book skip school? It was tired of all the division.

I told my wife she should run to stay in shape - now she's jogging my memory.

Why did the scarecrow become a detective? He had a nose for clues.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia - they replied, 'They're watching you.'

I told my computer to stop sending me ads - now it's giving me the silent treatment.

Why did the math book refuse to play games? It didn't want to deal with the probability.

I wanted to be a baker, but my scones crumbled under pressure.

Why did the scarecrow get a reality show? Because he was outstanding in the field of drama.

I wanted to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough to roll with it.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful DJ? He was outstanding in his field of beats.

I asked the computer if it wanted to go for a walk – now it won't stop opening new tabs.

I told my wife she should start a garden – now she's planting aloe vera to heal from my burns.

I wanted to be a baker, but all my pastries turned out half-baked.

I asked the tree if it wanted a hug – now it won't leaf me alone.

I used to be a baker, but my bread always loafed around.