Why did the math book look relieved? It finally solved its long division.

I told my wife she should join a book club – now she's hooked on reading.

I accidentally swallowed some food coloring - now I'm feeling a little blue.

I told my wife she should do lunges to stay in shape - that joke really hit close to home.

I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet - I'm not on speaking terms with U.

I tried to take a selfie with my printer, but it said 'toner low' and refused to cooperate.

I told my wife she should do more cardio to stay healthy - now she's running away from her problems.

I tried to organize a hide and seek competition, but it didn't really go as planned - good players are hard to find.

My fear of moving stairs is escalating.

I would tell you a joke about ceilings, but it’s over your head.

No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.

I’m allergic to sea food – I always develop a rash when I go to the beach.

I used to sell security alarms, but the sector just wasn’t moving.

I asked the librarian where they kept the self-help books – she said that would defeat the purpose.

I tried to come up with a bicycle pun, but I couldn’t wheelie think of one.

My friend keeps telling me that time is money... But I'm still waiting for my paycheck.

I'm friends with 23 letters of the alphabet... I don't know v.

I'm friends with 22 letters of the alphabet... I don't know w.

I'm friends with 21 letters of the alphabet... I don't know x.

I'm friends with 20 letters of the alphabet... I don't know y.

I'm friends with 19 letters of the alphabet... I don't know a.