What do you call a politician who loves history? A re-electile dysfunction.

Why did the politician go to the bookstore? To brush up on how to flip-flop effectively.

What do you call a politician who's good at math? An arithmetic accomplice.

How do you get a group of politicians to agree? Give them each a mirror.

Why did the politician go to the music store? To find a new campaign song.

What do you call a politician in a hurricane? A windy con-artist.

What do you call a politician who is also a magician? A master of deception.

How do politicians handle taxes? With a lot of exemptions and loopholes.

Why did the politician carry a notebook? To keep track of all his flip-flops.

What did the politician say when asked about his promises? 'I'll get back to you on that.'

How does a politician stargaze? By looking for constellations in their campaign donors.

What do you call a politician with a sense of humor? An anomaly in Washington.

Why did the politician go to the doctor? To get his campaign checked out.

What do you call a politician on a trampoline? A flip-flopper.

What do you get when you cross a politician and a rock star? A civil unrest.

Why did the politician visit the bakery? To get a slice of the political pie.

What do politicians use to find information online? Goggle.

Why can't politicians ever play hide and seek? They always get found out.

What's a politician's favorite type of candy? Lobby pops.

How do politicians stay cool? They make a lot of air promises.

Why did the politician get into acting? He always wanted to play a part.