What do you call a politician who's been caught in a scandal? A smooth criminal.

Why did the politician go to therapy? To work on their 'lying' skills.

Why was the politician always calm? They had a great 'spin' doctor.

What did the politician say to their assistant? 'I'm lobbying you for a raise!'

Why do politicians make terrible baseball players? They always want to 'swing' both ways.

What do you get when you cross a politician and a sheep? A political scandal that'll make ewe think.

How do politicians handle stress? They take a 'vote' of confidence.

What's a politician's favorite app? Snapchat, because the messages disappear after they're sent.

Did you hear about the politician who became a baker? They were great at 'pie' charts.

Why was the politician a terrible gardener? They couldn't stop planting 'seeds' of doubt.

Why did the politician bring a map to the negotiation? They wanted to navigate the 'red tape'.

What did the politician say to the journalist? 'Off the record, I'm running out of jokes!'

How did the politician fix their car? They used some 'political' grease!

Why did the politician go to the circus? To brush up on their clowning skills!

What do you call a politician who follows through on their promises? A unicorn.

How do politicians avoid getting lost? They always follow the money trail.

Why don't politicians like to play poker? They can't handle a bluff being called.

What's a politician's favorite type of music? Spin-doctor tunes!

Why did the politician make a great chef? They were experts at cooking the books!

How do politicians like their coffee? With a healthy dose of lobbyist cream.

What do you call a politician with a law degree? A troublemaker with credentials.