What do you call a politician without a sense of humor? A serious candidate.

Why did the politician bring a plant to the debate? To show that his platform had a green thumb.

Why did the politician become a magician? He was great at misdirection.

How does a politician make tea? He brews it!

Why did the politician go to the bank? To make some interest on his promises!

What do you call a politician who loves to garden? A blooming politician!

Why was the politician always fixated on his phone? He was trying to change his status!

What's a politician's favorite type of movie? One with a lot of political drama!

How does a politician cook a steak? With a lot of pork-barrel seasoning!

Why did the politician become a chef? He heard it was a profession where you could butter people up!

What's a politician's favorite type of party? A bipartisan one!

Why did the politician lose the race? He couldn't outrun his scandals!

How does a politician stay up to date on current events? He reads the news briefings in briefs!

Why did the politician take up painting? He wanted to brush up on his image!

What did the politician say to the solar panel? 'You're really good at absorbing energy, just like me!'

Why did the politician go to the comedy club? He heard they had a lot of loopholes in their jokes!

Why did the politician do well in school? He had a lot of experience with passing bills!

Why did the politician go to therapy? He needed help with his commitment issues!

What do you call a politician with no legs? Trustworthy!

Why did the politician bring a vacuum to work? To clean up his dirty politics!

How do politicians say goodbye? They wave the white flag of compromise!